Social World Super-Deal
The social media world will never be the same
SAN FRANCISCO, CA | Facebook announced a series of features and updates at its annual F8 Developer Conference in San Francisco on Tuesday, and while the news is mostly targeted for developers and app designers right now, it means very big things for Facebook users. The 2000 plus crowd in attendance heard the shocking news of a lifetime.
Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, was joined on stage by Twitter CEO, Dick Costolo, where they jointly announced a Facebook and Twitter merger, set for the summer of 2015. The announcement shocked the audience, with noticeable awkward pauses followed by sudden outbursts of disbelief. The unexpected announcement immediately started a buzz on Wall Street, with both company’s stocks going into an unprecedented upswing of up to 24 percent. They did level out by early Wednesday morning, while remaining up by nearly 9 percent.
“Sometimes you have to make hard decisions. With this one, almost everyone wins in the end. We are utterly confident that the users will love our end-product. It was designed for them. Welcome to the new way to socialize.“
The two top bosses of the Social Media giants, explained that the merger was for economic and development reasons. Each site had technology and features that the other desired, and after much negotiations they decided a merger was the best solution to their tech woes. Facebook was interested in Twitter’s famous search algorithm and messenger system, while Twitter was after Facebook’s Insight API and newly-announced, embeddable, streaming video app.
A Merger of Gigantic Proportions
The merger would also save the companies an estimated 2.7 Billion dollars a year. The down-side being the layoffs of approximately 12,000 employees, mainly in international offices.
“It was a hard decision, made after consulting our share-holders, lawyers, and private consultation firms. After seeing it mapped out, it just made sense. The result being a mega-social site, with enhanced news-feed distribution, embeddable video, increased messenger capabilities, more precise search, and better business marketing opportunities.” explained Zuckerberg. “I truly believe the users of both sites will appreciate the changes that will come with a merger of this caliber.”
A merger of gigantic proportions, would be an understatement. Twitter has 284 million monthly active users, and after going public, its market cap is $23 billion. Facebook is now worth more than $200 billion, surpassing that level for the first time on Monday. The site caters to over 1.3 Billion users worldwide. This would make it the third largest corporate merger in U.S. history. Facebook had its initial public offering, which raised $16 billion, making it the biggest internet IPO in history.
Costolo states, “We aren’t out to make history. We are out to make the best products for our users. We thought we can make each site better by combining our strengths. The user is ultimately the end-product with both of our sites…who then becomes the big winner in this merger. The list of new features is enormous. We have been working on this in secret for almost two years. I look forward to seeing it roll out in mid-summer.”
Both explained that most features have been implemented on the back-end, yet were still in the strenuous testing phase. One big hurdle will be the integration of the two sites. Users will have to claim joint accounts, however the transfer system will be made seamless by some unique software developed by a yet-to-be-named IT conglomerate.
“We have tried to make this merger as painless and seamless as possible. All the information is already there, it is just organizing it for the users and to make sure the transfer happens with no errors.” explains Zucherberg.
When asked what the name of the company will be after the merger, Costolo replied, “[that] all will be revealed in due time. Please be patient, because you will love the outcome. This is no laughing matter. More information will be released around the end of April. ”
Dick Costolo is the current CEO of Twitter, where he is responsible for the growth and management of the global business. He became CEO in 2010, the global active user base has quadrupled to more than 284 million monthly active users; the company has tripled in size, and has opened offices around the world.
Zuckerberg is one of the 5 founders of Facebook. He was made the chairman and chief executive of Facebook, Inc. in April 2013. His personal wealth, as of March 2015, is estimated to be $35.1 billion. In May 2013, Facebook made the Fortune 500 list for the first time—making Zuckerberg, at the age of 28, the youngest CEO on the list.
This article is part of Sirf Marketing’s yearly April Fool’s joke. No harm is meant to come of this article.
If you like it…please share with your friends.